18.12.09

10 green bottles standing on the wall, but if 2 green bottles should accidentally fall




According to the Pastafarian gospel, Mosey the Pirate captain received some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" by the FSM, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts", two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining.


1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey = Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):

1. Ending Poverty
2. Curing Diseases
3. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable
I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.


7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece Of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

16.12.09

Kavanozun kapağı açık kalmış

Hep adını yazdım şarkılarıma,
sevgilim suçunu herkes bilecek.
Bana ettiklerini herkes duyacak,
seni Tanrı bile affetmeyecek.

Alıştım artık ben sensizliğine,
zararı yok alıştım ben hasretine.
Seni yakacaklar benim yerime,
seni Allah bile affetmeyecek.

Ah edip başını duvarlara vur,
kahrol bir köşede boş hayaller kur.
Kalpsizlerin sonu hep böyle olur,
seni Tanrı bile affetmeyecek.

13.12.09

hayvanlar alemi

animals are divided into:

(a) those that belong to the emperor;
(b) embalmed ones;
(c) those that are trained;
(d) suckling pigs;
(e) mermaids;
(f) fabulous ones;
(g) stray dogs;
(h) those that are included in this classification;
(i) those that tremble as if they were mad;
(j) innumerable ones;
(k) those drawn with a very fine camel's-hair brush;
(l) etcetera;
(m) those that have just broken the flower vase;
(n) those that at a distance resemble flies

1.12.09

a spectacular mushroom cloud in the sky

ラーイーヤー ラ ライヨラ 空に見事なキノコの雲
ラーイーヤー ラ ライヨラ 小道で餌をはむ小鳥の午後は

木漏れ日の芝に手を触れて キミと語ろう
ほらランチのベンチの上で 夢は花咲く
波の音を その胸に 憂鬱は沈めて
橋を明日に伸ばし 津波など案ずることなく

ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ あんなに見事な飛行機雲
ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ 人気の通りに人行く午後は

微笑みでしばし手を取れば キミと歩こう
ほら「万事に休す」の声も 風がかき消す

明日の日はかまわずに 行く先は任せて
胸に鍵を掛けて 雪崩など信じることなく

ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ 夢に見慣れた炎の雨
ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ オフィスの窓辺で目覚めた午後は

木漏れ日の芝に誘われて キミと出かけよう
ほらランチのベンチの上で 夢は花咲く

草に吹く風を聞き 憂鬱は投げ捨て
明日も晴れと信じ 夢見など案ずることなく

ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ 空に見事なキノコの雲
ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ 小道で餌をはむ小鳥の午後
ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ ランチのベンチで育てた夢
ラーイーヤ ラ ライヨラ 木漏れ日の日に生まれた午後よ